[:en]Why Making Surprises Is Important[:zh]為何驚喜對於一段關係是那麼重要?[:]

[:en]Making surprises is not limited to your marriage proposal, it is also a tool to increase the bond between the two of you. When surprise happens, it gives a powerful and intensive shot of dopamine which increases adrenaline all of a sudden. It strengthens our feelings, make it memorable and triggers attractions. This is what we called an authentic happiness. A healthy profound romantic relationship needs a perfect balance of predictability and some surprises.

 

Predictability creates security, it makes us feel safe and stable. However, if the relationship keeps going to be predictable, things are getting bored. Notice how bored you feel when you keep talking to the same person about same thing in the same room for a whole month, I beg you want to go out somewhere and talk to someone else! When you are being with someone for a long time, the freshness and the physical attractions decrease while oxytocin and the attachment increase. We humans need safety and knowledge to foresee the future, but we all have curiosity and desires towards new things as well. We like exploring and knowing at the same time. So what we need is an element to balance our stable life and that is exactly what surprise do.

 

Surprise – is totally opposite. It is unpredictable, unsure, unsafe and wobble. Even thought it’s a good surprise, some people hate it. They hate surprise party, they hate surprise gift, they don’t like everything that’s out of their control. It is because they think it makes them look stupid and it makes them feel weak. They don’t know how to react. They don’t know what to do when facing unexpected aspects. So they would rather not making any surprise. However, life itself is full of surprise and full of unpredictability, otherwise your life is dull and colourless. Same as relationship, if you don’t make surprises, relationship tends to keep flat. When somebody new comes in, excitement and attraction occurs, so-called “Love and Passion” knocks the door. As a result, the stable relationship is no longer stable, your predicted future is no longer exist.

 

Life and relationship itself are dynamic, it is not possible to stay in the same place and same situation forever. We need to either move forward or backward. Therefore, the important point is how to make good surprises for our relationship rather than just waiting until the universe gives us bad surprises. So, take action now! Make surprises for your special one! If she hate surprises, make a little one! If you are going to propose to her? Make a big one! Big surprises will make that moment last forever! Feelings will never fade!

 

 [:zh]「驚喜」兩個字一直令不少男人苦惱,他們不明白為何女人經常要驚喜。其實,一個甜蜜的驚喜能夠為人體提供多巴胺,從而增加腎上腺素,能夠加強了情侶間的感情。一段健康的關係需要「可預測性」和「驚喜」的兩方平衡,才能正常發展。

 

「可預測性」創造安全及穩定的環境。人類需要安全和知識去預見未來,但我們也有好奇心,對新事物也有慾望。如果一段關係永遠是可預見的,任何一方也會開始感到厭煩。當你和某人已經在一起很長時間,彼此間的新鮮感和生理吸引力會逐漸下降。女性喜歡深入了解一個人的同時,亦希望不斷探索新事物。因此,我們需要平衡生活安定的元素,這正是「驚喜」。

 

「驚喜」 – 完全相反。它是不可預測,不確定和擺動的。有些人討厭驚喜,因為他們不喜歡一切不是自己控制的,突如奇來的驚喜使他們看起來愚蠢,讓他們感到無力。然而,生活本身就是充滿了不可預測的事物,否則你的生活是枯燥和乏味⁠⁠⁠⁠的。如同一段關係,如果你從來不給另一半驚喜,你們的關係便逐漸趨於平淡及沉悶。當有新的人出現時,他/她充滿新鮮感和吸引力,便是所謂的“愛與激情”敲了門。最終的結果是,穩定的關係不再穩定,你所預測的未來不再存在。

 

生活和關係本身是動態的,它不可能留在同一個地方,同樣的情況,直到永遠。我們需要向前或向後移動。因此,重要的是我們如何利用驚喜提昇與另一半之間的關係,而不是等待,直到宇宙帶給我們壞的驚喜。所以,現在便採取行動!為您的另一半準備一個驚喜!如果她本來不喜歡驚喜,準備一個小小的驚喜!如果你打算向她求婚?準備一個大的驚喜!一個大的驚喜會讓那一刻一直延長至天長地久!感情會永不褪色![:]